How to RSVP to an event

Reply the way the invitation asks

The invitation usually tells you how to answer. Use that channel, because it's where the host keeps the guest list.

• An RSVP link or form. Open it, pick your answer, fill in your name and email and anything else it asks, such as how many guests you're bringing or dietary needs. Most forms send you a confirmation email. Keep it: it often has a link to change your answer later.
• A calendar invitation. In Google Calendar, open the event and choose Yes, No or Maybe. In Gmail you can answer at the top of the invitation email. The organiser gets a notification either way.
• An email or a text. Reply to the person who sent it, in the same thread, so your answer sits next to the invitation.
• A printed card. Use the reply card or the contact details on it. If it gives a phone number or an email, either is fine.

If there's a deadline ("RSVP by 1 June"), reply before it. If there isn't, reply within a few days. The host needs numbers for food, seats and the venue.

What to say: example replies

Keep it short. Say yes or no, say who's coming, and answer anything the invitation asked.

Yes: "Thanks for inviting us. Sam and I would love to come. Sam is vegetarian."

Yes, just you: "Thank you, I'll be there. It'll just be me."

No: "Thank you so much for the invitation. Sadly we can't make it, as we're away that weekend. Have a wonderful day."

Maybe, when the host allows it: "I'd love to come but I'm waiting on my work rota. Can I confirm by Friday?" Then do confirm by Friday.

You don't have to explain a no. A short, warm reply is polite enough.

After you say yes: add it to your calendar

Many RSVP pages and confirmation emails have an "Add to calendar" link. If yours doesn't, make one below: enter the event's name, date, time and place, and add it to Google Calendar or Outlook, or download an .ics file for Apple Calendar.

If your plans change

Tell the host as soon as you know, the same way you replied. If you answered on a form, use the change link in your confirmation email, so the guest list updates and someone on a waitlist can take your place.

In Google Calendar you can change your answer on the event at any time. You can also add a note to your reply, but Google says that note is visible to everyone invited, so keep private reasons for a direct message. If you can't make the time but want to come, Google Calendar lets you propose a new time to the organiser, except for events with more than 200 guests and all-day events.

Bringing a guest

Only bring someone if the invitation says so ("and guest", "plus one") or the form asks how many are coming. Put the right number in your reply: hosts count seats and plates from it. Children are usually invited only if the invitation names them.

If you're the host

Make replying easy and you'll get more answers. One link that works on a phone, a clear deadline, and only the questions you'll use. An event RSVP site collects answers, plus-ones and dietary needs into one guest list, sends each guest a confirmation and a reminder about a day before, and keeps a waitlist when you're full. Put the date, the place and the form on one event page and send that link in the invitation.

To ask politely, write "Please RSVP by 1 June" with the link or the contact details next to it. Don't write "Please RSVP" on its own: RSVP already means "please reply".